“SELF ESTEEM IS
self esteem improves your self worth and your value. Building self esteem is a
first step towards your happiness and a better life.
esteem increases your confidence and allows you to respect your own wishes. If
you have confidence you will give priority to your wishes and you will respect
yourself. If you respect yourself you can respect others, so building self
esteem can help you improve your relationships, your personal performance and
self esteem causes depression, unhappiness, insecurity and poor confidence.
Other's desires may take preference over yours. The side effect, inner
criticism, that nagging voice of disapproval inside you, causes you to stumble
at every challenge and you will find it much harder to begin new or challenging
projects. Your doubt will mean you are almost certain to fail....
What is self
The experience of being capable of meeting life's challenges and being worthy of
Self-Esteem Is Important
Good self-esteem is important because it helps you to hold
your head high and feel proud of yourself and what you can do. It gives you the
courage to try new things and the power to believe in yourself. It lets you
respect yourself, even when you make mistakes. And when you respect yourself,
adults and other kids usually respect you, too.If you have good self-esteem, you
know that you're smart enough to make your own decisions. You value your safety,
your feelings, your health - your whole self! Good self-esteem helps you know
that every part of you is worth caring for and protecting.
of High Self Esteem:
believe I am important.
believe that the world is better because I am in it.
have confidence in myself and my abilities.
am able to ask for help.
trust my decisions.
believe that I am my own best resource
What is a
sign of low self esteem? what not to do:
self esteem feeds on negative messages and thoughts so Don't indulge
in self criticism. Why are you joining the other side to wage war
against yourself? Silence your inner judge.
always try to please others.
It is considerate when you care about others feelings but aren't your needs
just as important? Don't neglect yourself!
try to be like someone else.
This leads to lack of
self worth and confidence. You are unique and you cannot be someone else.
Strive to be better yes but don't criticise yourself for not being as
successful, as beautiful, as slim or as popular as somone else. You deserve
take life or yourself so seriously.
Failure just means
you are not successful YET. Everybody fails on their way to succeeding,
don't look on it as failure but as a means to learning. Perhaps you just
need a change of direction. Problems can make you stronger if you strive to
of Low Self Esteem:
do not think I am important.
expect to be cheated and discounted by others.
do not trust others.
people don't like me.
feel lonely and isolated.
am not interested in myself, or other people around me.
self-esteem determined by parental upbringing? No
Isn't self-esteem the consequence of approval from "significant
Don't the possession of good looks, popularity, and wealth almost guarantee
Does praise appropriate behavior nurture self-esteem? No
Isn't it true that if you have high self-esteem, nothing bothers you?No
Can people have too much esteem? No
self-esteem the prerogative of a fortunate minority? No
To maintain healthy self esteem:
Once you've attained self-esteem, is it automatically maintained forever?
value pertaining to life requires action to maintain it. Responsibility
for appropriate action never ends.
- Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
- Celebrate your strengths and
- We are so used to negative feedback that
we are more aware of our weaknesses.
- Set achievable targets and get regular
- Change the way you talk to yourself -
stop putting yourself down.
- Be sure that you are not judging yourself
against unreasonable standards. Beating yourself for your weaknesses is
What are the
best measures or scales to use in assessing self-esteem?
You are generally not thinking about yourself and don't analyze yourself.
2. You feel good most of the time. When you feel bad, it doesn't
last long. You are resilient in the face of diversity.
3. You smile a lot. You have positive belief systems.
4. You have lots of energy. You are able to see and accomplish most
of your goals.
5. You are friendly. You enjoy meeting and being with others.
6. You draw people to you. You make long-term friendships.
7. You look others in the eye. You are trustworthy and able to be
intimate and affectionate.
8. You take risks. You are independent and autonomous.
9. You have positive effects. You have behavioral and academic
success in school.
10. Things others can't observe include: You talk to yourself
positively, tell the truth, keep your word, are grateful to be alive, forgive
yourself and others. You are empathetic, compassionate and you have a
possible to build one's self esteem? what to do:
worth, confidence and assuredness will increase when you Focus on your
needs and desires. You deserve to live life as you want. This is not
selfishness as what you want doesn't hurt others or prevent them from living
life on their terms.
on your successes.
Lack of confidence feeds on your feelings of failure and inadequacy.
Remember the truly successful things you have done in your life. Reward
yourself when you do succeed.
positive affirmations and quotes.
Read them every day
or when you are feeling negative and need inspiration.
on your strengths.
Use them. You will succeed if you are true to yourself.
and work at achieving your goals.
self criticism will die to nothing as you will know even if you do not
succeed you tried all you could. Do your best at everything you
your brain. Read
inspiring books - they will really help you. Not just any books though, read
esteem and self management
esteem is the foundation for managing yourself effectively.
fair degree of confidence or self belief is necessary for managing yourself
well in other respects.
can't achieve your full potential or be happy if you strongly doubt your
ability to achieve goals that are important to you.
key to healthy self esteem is becoming aware of your personal strengths and
accepting yourself as a worthy person despite any real weaknesses you have.
good news is that we can change how we view ourselves - even though it could be
easier said than done!
consciousness is the No.1 enemy of self confidence. Learn how to keep your
attention off yourself. You can do this easily by following these steps...
a) If you notice you have become self-conscious, (you can usually
tell because you start to feel anxious), choose something 'everyday' you can see
and study it in detail. The important thing is that you're learning how to keep
your attention off yourself.
b) If you feel self-conscious in a social situation, it's usually
because you don't have enough to do! Focus on what your purpose in the situation
It's easy to feel self-conscious if you have nothing to do, and much more
difficult if your attention is occupied by a task.
Think how comfortable you have been with others when you're all working toward a
common goal. The common goal of socialising could be making friends, it could be
the exchange of mutually beneficial information, it could be whatever you want
it to be!
What is self-esteem?
is an experience.
It is a particular way of experiencing the self. It is a good deal more
than a mere feeling. It involves emotional, evaluative, and cognitive
components. It also entails certain action dispositions:
to move toward life
rather than away from it;
to move toward
consciousness rather away from it;
to treat facts with
respect rather than denial; to operate self-responsibly rather than the
is the disposition to experience oneself as being competent to cope with the
basic challenges of life and of being worthy of happiness.
It is confidence in our ability to learn, make appropriate choices and
decisions, and respond effectively to change. It is also the experience
that success, achievement, fulfillment-happiness-are right and natural for us.
is not the euphoria that
may be temporarily induced by a drug, a compliment, or a love affair. It
is not an illusion or hallucination.
The power they have to alter your life will make itself
felt if you repeat them DAILY and when you are thinking negatively. Try to focus
on one affirmation and consider what it means to you in your life. Tell
deserve to be happy and successful
have the power to change myself
can forgive and understand others and their motives
can make my own choices and decisions
am free to choose to live as I wish and to give priority to my desires
can choose happiness whenever I wish no matter what my circumstances
am flexible and open to change in every aspect of my life
act with confidence having a general plan and accept plans are open to
is enough to have done my best
deserve to be loved
will free you, add your own and put the list somewhere you can see it everyday.
Rules for Serenity
I will live my day fully, without worrying about how to work out all my
problems in one day.
I will take care of my physical appearance. I will eat right and exercise.
I will be kind and polite to others.
I will try not to be better than anyone else. I will just be the best me.
I will be happy.
I will adapt to the tasks I face, without expecting the tasks to adapt to
I will dedicate 20 minutes to reading something constructive. Reading is
good for my mental health.
I will perform a good deed, without telling anyone about it.
I will plan what I need to do, putting my most important activities on the
top of the list.
I will follow my plan carefully.
I will not feel afraid.
I will be able to enjoy life, and believe in kindness.
The first step
was learning how to think positively about yourself; the second step is to apply
this new thinking to everyday life. I would like to recommend that you try the
Steps Toward Self- Confidence
will be aware of my strengths and weaknesses and set my goals to match.
will decide what my values and beliefs are.
will think about how I would like my life to be.
go of the past
will review my past and forgive those who have hurt me.
will forgive myself for those whom I have hurt.
will think about my past experiences, and try to learn from them.
will let go of guilt and shame. They have little value on my new path.
will not allow my past experiences to block my future successes.
will search for why I behave or react in certain situations--physically,
socially, and financially.
will remember that there is always a different way to behave in each of
these areas of my life--physical, social, and financial.
new ways of looking at life
will look for more positive ways of behaving in these areas of my life.
will be more tolerant of myself and others.
will only give myself positive messages.
will only make a note of areas in my life that need attention.
will focus on my good qualities.
will be kind to myself.
will not allow others to criticize me in unhelpful ways.
will look at my failures as only a way that does not work.
will look for another way to do a task if the old way does not work.
will surround myself with people, places, and situations which help me
things about myself and others.
I cannot change a situation so that I feel more valued, I will leave the
situation. Life is too short to waste.
will not participate in events which leave me feeling less than.
will take time to relax, listen to myself, and enjoy being with my best
will enjoy activities that I like to do by myself. This will help me get
in touch with my "real" self.
will practice being pleasant and enjoying people, even if it is difficult
will enjoy the positive energy that others have.
will not take on other people's negative energy.
will let people know I am available to give, receive, and share.
will take risks which may help me become the person I want to be. I will
not always play it safe.
am able to handle life's challenges.
will set goals for myself.
will make a plan for reaching these goals.
will work my plan.
will look at my progress each day, and change anything that needs to be
changed so that I can be successful again tomorrow.
will congratulate myself for my progress.
will forgive myself should I make a mistake. I will then, return to my
will do my best in everything that I do.
have a responsibility to myself for things that happen in my life.
am unique. I do not need to do things the way others do only to please
can make the best thing happen for me.
play an active role in whatever happens to me.
is up to me to change my life.
have the self -confidence to do it.
can make it.
will keep trying.
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